Sometimes I wonder how long it’s really been since Solas has been in a relationship.
Solas says himself that it has been some time, and I think he means it. It’s been a while. Longer than the 1000 years he’s been sleeping for. Possibly anywhere between hundreds to thousands of years longer still; we just don’t know.
Did he take a lover when he bore the mantle of the Dread Wolf, rebelling against he Evanuris? I think it’s unlikely, given that he would be interacting with many former slaves that joined his rebellion. For them he was the Dread Wolf; freedom fighter and symbol. And this is when his image may have begun being twisted into a figure of a god himself. I can’t see him starting up a relationship with anyone who thinks of him as such.
And before that? We don’t really know. He may have had some sort of influential position given references to Pride in the dalish myths (particularly in Ghilan’nain’s) I personally like to think he was a general or military figure in Mythal’s service. But again, in some sort of position of power. Suitors may have been interested in him, or what his position could offer.
But Lavellan doesn’t know about any of that. Their positions are reversed; he’s the humble apostate in the Inquisition’s service this time. And now he’s just Solas. I take him at his word when he says he was always Solas; regardless of the other things he lied by omission about, the person he presented himself as to Lavellan and the others, the personality shown in his banters and the prickly elf that hates tea and sets his coattails on fire, was genuine.
Others mocked/deride him for various reasons, but Lavellan treats him as a person worth listening too.
He wants to give wisdom, not orders
And Lavellan falls in love with that. With him. Just him; flaws and all.
Varric and Fenris are both male abuse victims. Fenris was sexually, physically, and mentally abused. Varric was emotionally abused and toyed with.
Sebastian was emotionally neglected and kicked out of his home and manipulated by his mother figure. His home was destroyed and his mother figure murdered.
Zevran was tortured from a young age and raised in a whore house and trained to be a heartless killer. He killed his first love under false pretenses then accepted a job, fully expecting, and wanting to die.
Dorian is an extremely intelligent man, is (potentially) an alcoholic, and was attacked by his father for his sexuality.
Cullen was tortured, tempted, and traumatized by demons and abominations at only 19 years old.
Iron Bull got to a point where he couldn’t find a reason to do his job so he went to the re-educators, willing to go through torture so he’d find purpose again. He didn’t care at that point if he made it out alive.
Sten had to see his friends and commrades be murdered then later, in a panic, he killed a family because he couldn’t find his sword the allowed himself to be captured to seek attonment.
Oghren’s wife abandoned him for some ancient artifact, cheated on him, and he spent two full years screaming at the guards to go get her. He was the only one who cared about Branka as a person. He was then betrayed by her when she simply told him, “I am your Paragon.”
Alistair is a bastard who is the heir to the throne of Fereldan, but was always told he was never allowed to even consider trying to take the throne. He was tossed into the Chantry at a young age because some woman hated him. He lost his mentor in battle.
Please… Please don’t ignore the struggles the male characters went through. Don’t ignore their traumas, their hardships. Don’t change something about them to fit your ideas, because it just might cheapen their stories. The male characters struggle, but I rarely see anyone talk about them. I only see these things talked about when there’s cooing over how brace or strong the God damned elves are. Just the elven men….
This is a load of absolute bullpockey.
In what universe is op living that any male character’s trauma is ever not talked about.
Fandom loooooves its men. Fandom especially loves white men, bonus points if they’re blond and sad. Fandom is literally all about men.
From what insane alternate dimension is op from that this isn’t the case?
Not even getting into what qualifies as trauma and what doesn’t (because it’s a violent video game set in a crapsack world, every damn character could reasonably be read as traumatized), although I boggle at the inclusion of Varric…
You know what kind of character’s trauma is never discussed? Fucking women’s.
Where is the discussion of Morrigan’s stunted emotional growth, her abuse by her mother, her self-harmful approach to sex, her curiosity and love for the world and its history despite it, her slow clawing away from the person Flemeth made her be?
Where is the discussion of Leliana’s abuse by Marjolaine, the way that abuse shaped her life and self-image for a decade afterward, her fractured identity, her fear of herself, her desire to end the cycle and rise above what she believes she was made to do?
Where’s the discussion of Wynne’s lifetime in the Circle and the trauma thereof, the justifications she has invented to feel okay with it, her deeply troubling, imbalanced relationship with Greagoir and the forcible loss of her son, her guilt over those she failed, her pain at finding her son only to lose him again?
Where’s the discussion of Shale’s nightmarish experience of becoming a golem, her exploitation and dehumanization, her crippling fear of loss of agency, of being used, her rejection of all things soft and mortal, her enduring desire for them, her decision to seek mortality and vulnerability despite her experiences?
Where is the discussion of Sigrun’s birth into poverty and classist hatred, her non-existent self worth, her suicidal ideation, her inability to break from a culture that despises her very existence, her tragic willingness to die for the story that culture has told her about herself?
Where is the discussion of Velanna’s autistic-coded social rejection, her fear of her oppressors and devotion to a clan that rejects her, her fervent love for a missing sister who was the only one to show her true kindness?
Where is the discussion of Aveline’s grief for her husband and home, of her resultant fixation on protecting all those around her, her tendency to take on responsibility for everyone around her, her fear of loss?
Where is the discussion of Merrill’s loneliness, her anxiety and depression and low self worth, her distance and then violent exile from her clan–potentially, the death of that clan–her sorrow for her lost history and culture, her grief for Mahariel and Tamlen, her isolation and tendency for self-harm?
Where is the discussion of Isabela’s abuse by her husband, her protective self image and act as a callous pirate, her denial of everything good in herself, her fear of intimacy, her guilt and shame?
Where is the discussion of Sera’s internalized racism, her existential crisis, her fear of magic and demons stemming not from the things themselves but from her fear of nothingness, her fury and compassion for the helpless, having herself been helpless, her racial abuse at the hands of her guardian, fact that she lived through the Battle of Denerim as a child?
Where is the discussion of Cassandra’s grief and anger over her brother, her loss of the Seekers who were like family to her, the weight of so much on her shoulders, her los
Where is the discussion of Vivienne’s abuse in the Circle, her internalized fear and hatred of herself, the carefully calculated image she has as a coping mechanism, her love of and desire to protect the helpless, her kind and caring nature at war with the cold mask that life as a mage has forced her into?
Also, all the fools in the notes going on about Anders need to sit down. There are approximately 1852241 fics, metas and fanarts all about Anders’ trauma in the Circle and approximately 0 about Vivienne’s.
Fandom has no problem whatsoever acknowledging men’s pain. Men’s pain is the primary focus of fandom. The portrayal, examination, re-examination, the downright fetishization of men’s pain is endemic to fandom. What fandom has problems with is acknowledging that women have any capacity for pain at all–especially black and brown women.
Fandom is a product and microcosm of a society that fails to empathize with women, period. It fails to be interested in their inner lives, their pain, their complexities. Fandom is just plain not interested in women. Even in Dragon Age, where complex, varied, interesting women, who have relationships with one another of all different types, are everywhere, fandom shrugs and goes ‘eh’.
That’s not to say that it’s somehow wrong to enjoy male characters. By all means. Enjoy what you enjoy. I am not here to shame.
But to imply that it is men whose pain is ignored in fandom is ridiculous and downright insulting.
I’M YELLING I fucking love the mage origin in DAO it’s so funny considering like, out of all the origins surana and amell are the absolute least prepared to go to war, they haven’t even been outside for years
cousland and aeducan has had combat training as nobles, tabris had adaia teach them, brosca was in a fantasy mafia, and mahariel was trained in weaponry
jdjdjd then you got amell or surana who knows maybe some few primal spells but none of the really intense combat or ~forbidden magic that would be useful in battle cause the circle said no
imagine if your mage warden was the top of their class but for like studying ancient runes and Duncan’s like “yeah that’s good enough to conscript into an army”
